Confronting the Social Media Haters, The Outspoken Offender

Lately, America has been a pretty hateful place. From violent protests to mass shootings, hate seems to be everywhere. Social media is no different. Some experts believe the anonymity factor causes people to resort to being rude online. Some studies also show that a lack of eye contact and other non-verbal communication causes people to be mean in online interactions. This live video is extremely important for individuals and families that are justice-impacted and/or living on American’s sex offender registry.

In this live video broadcast, I show hateful comments I’ve received over the last few months on YouTube and Twitter. One comment mentioned that “sex offenders can be cured with a simple high velocity of injection of lead.” Even though hateful comments are discussed, my goal is to keep this live video positive with ways we can handle online rejection, dislike, and even personal threats. I also dive into the psychological reason why social media is often filled with toxic comments and how we should react.

TRANSCRIPT

0:00:00.0 Speaker 1: No, I’m not. Okay, I believe I am live. Finally, there’s a weird delay sometimes, if you’ve ever done YouTube, there’s a weird delay within my vMix system and YouTube. So anyway, it always throws me off. But anyway, thank you for joining me on The Outspoken Offender, and today I wanna talk about comments that we may receive online, and I wanna go over some that I have received over the last several months, and they’re pretty hurtful, but it really doesn’t bother me. I mean, I think about it briefly, and then it’s just gone. And so, let’s go to this, and I’m also gonna take some of your comments too, so if you wanna throw out some comments live, I will do my best. In fact, I’m gonna see if I can throw this one out here. Oh, that was right on my face, that was not what I wanted to do. Okay, so let’s show you the first one, and this was not too long ago, I believe this was on Twitter, here it is, it’s… I think it’s from a woman, and she puts this little gif here too of this girl slicing her neck. If you were to watch it in motion, it would be like, cut, cut.

0:01:25.4 Speaker 1: You’re probably right, I’d like to personally carve the Xs and execute every last one of those sex offending animals on the list. You need to reevaluate your life if you aren’t angered by what blank… And I have to tell you, I deleted some comments here made by… To other people. Okay, so for privacy reasons. Angered by what blank did. Six months or less… Okay, so she goes on. My response to this very hateful comment would be this; should we not be more focused on resolving issues with assessment and treatment rather than locking up or even bringing violence to these people? A lot of people would disagree. No, we need to beat the hell out of them, we need to kill them. To solve the core issue is we need to treat people that need treatment, that have resolving issues. Okay? And that’s important, and I’m sorry I’m laughing, because I just realized that this woman almost matches [chuckle] my head. That was kind of a bad choice. Okay, so, we gotta have some fun, right? So let’s go to this next one. It is by the same person.

0:02:43.4 Speaker 1: Oh, and by the way, the pictures at the bottom left are not obviously, the pictures of the people, that’s just a general photo. Okay, stay positive guys, he’s helping pedophiles. Referring to me. Don’t mind blank, he abused a kid 100 times. That was a long time ago. Don’t defend pedophiles and act surprised when people hate you for it. You’re a special kind of stupid, haters, you’re a child, careful round. [chuckle] I have to say that a lot of these do not have the best English, so some of them don’t even make sense. Here’s the fact on that one, my response, one cannot choose to not be a pedophile; you may argue against that, but there is a lot of evidence that people may be born with the tendency to be attracted to minors, okay? But one can choose not to be an offender or a molester, so, there is a difference. So, to go back to what she was saying, “You are supporting or you’re helping pedophiles.” What’s wrong with that? I’m not helping pedophiles to commit a crime. I am helping or coaching people that are attracted to minors not offend, okay? Not offend.

0:04:13.1 Speaker 1: It’s so frustrating to me that there is this miscommunication with that. Okay, so my next one here is from the same woman, this woman really hit me hard a couple of days on Twitter, “LOL, grow up, maggot. You’re acting like a child. You, you shouldn’t be around.” I’m acting like a child. It doesn’t make sense. “Have you told your neighbors how shit you are today?” No, I have not talked to my neighbors, and that’s okay. Why are people so mean on social media? I was researching this for this video, and researchers do say that it is due to a lack of eye contact. You still may get some hurt face-to-face, eye to eye, nose to nose, but over social media, a lot of people that are hateful feel they’re protected behind the screen, and they can say anything they want, and especially with a controversial subject that I’m talking about today. You have got to expect it, I expect it. It doesn’t bother me.

0:05:26.4 Speaker 1: Well, it bothers me for a brief moment and then I… Whatever. I’m still laughing at that old lady’s face, I cannot get over that. Okay, so my next one here, I am on tweet four, and here we go, this is the same woman. So, someone that was supporting me on Twitter said “the haters are sadly the disturbed we all need to watch for.” Then this woman, I guess, titled Ono Gogo, that’s her Twitter user name. “You sex pests are the disturbed variety that ended up on a list for being that disturbed. Everyone needs to be notified. You likely destroyed someone’s life to get there. What are you talking about? Squash yourselves.” My goodness. Well, what I have to say to you is, are we gonna squash everybody on the registry, is that what you want? Because when we look at the facts, and I took this from lives.narsol.org, great organization, 200,000 people in 38 states are currently on the Sex Offender Registry for crimes they committed as children.

0:06:49.2 Speaker 1: And then also to add to that, you may not know that there are children on the registry as young as seven, eight years old in some states. So, this hater is saying, we need to squash everybody on the registry, including children, but she’s all about protecting children. So, that is very confusing to me. This is from someone different. Her name is Tasha. Sounds nice, her picture is nice, sounds like a nice woman, right? No. She says, an absolute disgrace to all victims and potential victims out there. Absolutely f-ing shameful, I don’t wanna say the F word, I don’t know what YouTube thinks about that, but anyway, absolutely F-ing shameful, how far society has fallen. That degeneracy now reign supreme, throw up puke emoji. Okay, so my… [chuckle] Gosh. My response to that is, I am going to take the stance, and I do already, I take the stance of Women Against Registries, part of their mission statement or whatever you wanna call it, all children have the right to grow up in an environment that is safe from harm.

0:08:05.1 Speaker 1: I do not promote or protect people that are committing crimes. So, you are saying that… Where was it? It’s a disgrace to victims. I recognize the victim’s rights. Of course, I do. I recognize the harm that I caused in my crime, that’s why I am talking about these issues today. I’m gonna go to some of these social media comments here that are coming in, ’cause we’ve got some people watching now, and fortunately for some reason, I wanted to put it nicely on the bottom of the screen, but I will just mention a few here that are coming through. Thank you Rise over here 305, not all offenders have victims. That is true in some cases, especially… Well, I’m not gonna get into it.

0:08:56.3 Speaker 1: Another comment from Rise, over here, 305, agreed Matt, children need to grow up in a safe environment. We’re all for that. Thank you, Jay, from the prison podcast show for joining me. He has said… Well, he said, LMAO, probably my reference to something that I’ve been talking about. Tyler, thank you. Hello, thank you for tuning in. I appreciate it. So a lot of people joining me today and I really do appreciate it. Okay, so let’s go to the next one. Oh great, I lost my place. I think I was on… Okay, here we go. Next, this was a tweet as well, replying to me and someone else blocked out, don’t like registries, don’t rape kids, sicko. That’s my response right there, I didn’t rape kids. Next one, another person. There’s Tasha again, spoken like a true pedophile, and I think she’s referencing how I was… Or how I have introduced my life coaching, trauma recovery and resiliency coaching program.

0:10:09.6 Speaker 1: And I think she was just saying that I am like protecting again, and I’m saying that sex offenses are okay, which is absolutely untrue. So my response is, we need the support, we need to support people that have this tendency and to prevent child sex offending. Don’t we want that? Don’t you want that? It just doesn’t make sense to me. We can’t solve the problem by ignoring the problem. And I remember the German program, in Germany, of course, the Dunkelfeld Project, I believe I’m saying that correctly, that they are helping a lot of offenders there not to re-offend or offend. We don’t have a program like that in the United States because of the mandatory reporting laws. Another video. Okay, here’s one from YouTube. A little small, I apologize. Referring to me again. The guy said nothing relevant… Or did I go through this one already?

0:11:25.8 Speaker 1: Maybe I did. Let me see. Did I… I think I might’ve skipped a few of them here, but let’s just respond to this. The guy said nothing relevant the whole time and flew under the radar about what he did and accepted no real responsibility. I don’t trust him. He is shifty and clever about concealing, do not let any child near this guy. And that is referring to me. That’s it. How have I not been open? How have I concealed my offense? I did it… I put myself… My own documentary a few years ago about forgiveness, it’s called The Forgiveness Journey, that was in 2015. And then I also have the story of my sex offense. I am not saying what I did was a good thing, it was horrible, but I am owning up to my story. Okay, a couple… Let me see if there’s any more comments coming through. Oh shoot, I’m sorry. Something about closed captions that are not available because someone is deaf. I apologize, I think there might be a setting on YouTube that you can click on, I hope.

0:12:38.6 Speaker 1: Let’s say, JS, thank you for joining me. He says, You can’t let every hater bother you. Yeah, I’m not worried. I just ignore them and live my life as I want to. Good advice, I appreciate that. Okay, back to the comments. Let’s go to, oh, this one here. Wait until you hear this, read that. Sex offenders can be cured with a simple high velocity injection of lead. This is not a joke, I am not making this up. This is honest. Somebody said this, it’s been a while, it’s been about six months. So my response to that is, well, obviously, lead doesn’t work. Treatment works. Can reduce sexual recidivism over a five-year period by 5% to 8%. Recent treatment programs were the self-regulation model and the good lives model, so those are some that you may have heard of, or your loved one perhaps may have gone through that if you’ve had a son or daughter even, you know, incarcerated, they may have gone through one of those therapy.

0:13:50.7 Speaker 1: So, lead, come on. Okay, another one here. So this guy… Well, it’s not the guy at the bottom, that’s just a generic photo, I didn’t realize that until now, that it might look like the person saying it. But anyway, Steven… Oh boy, I didn’t realize I had his full name on there. We need to protect our women and children of the community. That’s the key phrase there. If any sex offender came after my family, they wouldn’t live to go to trial. So what that guy is admitting to, Steven, he’s saying that I would kill somebody. I would kill somebody. I would kill somebody that would harm my family. Obviously if it was in self-protection… You know, in self-defense, if the person is harming that family, sure. But anyway, overall research, and that key phrase that I said, that he said, protecting the community and his family. Key research has demonstrated that these laws, sex offender laws, SORNA, the registration in general, do little to nothing, nothing to reduce re-offending or protecting children in our community.

0:15:07.3 Speaker 1: So, that’s my follow up on that one. This one is interesting. David, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Sex offenders need to be in prison for life, nasty ass. [chuckle] Where do they come up with these things? [chuckle] It’s actually quite funny. I am actually laughing right now, because I’m reading these and they’re just like, bizarre. We don’t need to put people with sex offenses in prison for life. The mandatory minimums are ridiculous, they’re extremely long, especially federal offenses. And it says there, American hyper-punishment is not slowing down. Policing is not slowing down, it’s accelerating, and there’s been a lot of reports that sex offender laws are fueling mass incarceration, sort of like what the drug laws in the ’80s did. Well, here we are again, in 2020 or 2021 rather, and the sex offender laws are fueling mass incarceration.

0:16:18.7 Speaker 1: Just a couple more folks. And then I’m gonna give you some tips here, I’ve got some good comments coming in. Thank you for everybody watching and tuning in. I do really appreciate that. I love your comments. Okay, so where is the next one? My screen is very confusing. Let’s see here. Okay, here’s another one, YouTube from Jamie. You choose your fate, or you chose your fate. You put yourself in this situation. Okay? You’re a sick man. How can you justify or think this is okay? My response, Jamie, you are correct. That is actually… I just realized this. That is the first comment, the hate comment that is actually correct. You are correct, Jamie. I did put myself in this situation, and I don’t think it’s okay. I don’t think what I did was good. But I have owned up to what I have done and I have taken my experience and I have done a lot of good things with it. So yes, you are correct on that one.

0:17:32.7 Speaker 1: Here’s the last one, and it’s just simple. You’re disgusting. And she puts a heart there, which is odd. Karina, you’re disgusting. Well, thank you. Okay, so let’s move on to these tips. Remember that successful people don’t need to put others down. So, some of these people may just be disturbed themselves, they may be crazy themselves. They don’t like what I am doing, because it helps others? I don’t know. Then what I like to do is kill them with kindness. I never respond… At least from what I can remember, and if I did, I didn’t mean to. I do not respond with cruelty, cruelty and anger to the comments. I always respond kindly, fairly kindly, and that does help, because I respond with something positive and that gives them something to think about. Stick to your convictions. That basically just means that you know, have faith in what you’re trying to accomplish, what positive things you’re trying to accomplish.

0:18:50.6 Speaker 1: And so, I try to remember that when I get hateful comments is, what I’m trying to do is coach others to bring out awareness and educate others about the sex offender registry and incarceration and living with a felony and all that stuff. I’m not condoning any harm. Oh my goodness, I’m exhausted. I don’t know about you, but those are just some of the comments that I have received over the last nine months or so on Twitter and YouTube. At first I was pretty shocked, but then I’m like, Okay, yeah, I can… This is gonna happen and I should expect it. You know, what’s interesting too, as a marketer, digital marketer myself, I see the haters, the comments, they actually help me, they actually help me promote what I’m trying to do, so it’s very ironic. So you can look… If you’re having this issue, you can look at your heaters, if you’re on social media or online, they’re actually promoting your brand, they’re promoting your podcast, they’re promoting your YouTube channel by even a negative comment.

0:20:03.1 Speaker 1: So, my final advice, and I’ll wrap this up here is, do your best to ignore the haters… Well, no, actually, don’t ignore them, you can respond, but in a positive way. And that is gonna be most beneficial to you. Okay, I think that is it for me on this live broadcast. I don’t do a lot of live, but I enjoy doing them. Thank you so much. Mon coeur for joining me. Deft Tractor, Rich Phelps. Rise over here 305, Prison Podcast show, there’s just a whole bunch of people on here and thank you so much for your comments. I love when you join the live videos and watch my video. So please share this video and like it. And have a wonderful day and I will talk to you soon.

Helping registered citizens and former inmates move beyond stereotypes and social ostracism.